9 May 2014
Its 3 months since Ibegan seriously focusing on getting healthier and fitter and tapping for my weight and emotional eating. I have become Tapping Woman, using my EFT superpowers to dissolve the old blocks that have kept me imprisoned.
My new behaviour is becoming effortless and it hasn’t even been that hard. I have had some intense moments, but I really want to shift so I tapped and sometimes I ate what I was craving, but not as much and not so often as before.
I am eating less at one sitting. I just keep what is left over and eat it later or tomorrow or not. I usually eat 2 big meals a day, so now its more like 2 smaller meals and a snack in the middle. Its actually really convenient having left over salad or something cooked for when I get hungry 3 or 4 hours after a meal. I am eating less at night too. Still more than I need but not so much after-dinner restless snacking or bingeing. And not so much carby crap.
I am a bit frustrated at how slowly weight Is coming off. I know that if I had done what I am doing now 10 years ago it would have come off much faster. So I keep reminding myself that I really do want to change my behaviour and my deep aching desire is for a new relationship with myself, my body and food. That keeps me on track. My strong desire.
I think when you are young, the weight comes off easier. It used to for me. The PCOS and menopause are making it slow now. That is just fine. I am changing my life, not going on a diet.
If I focus on the weight too much I start to feel a bit frustrated and desperate, so I focus on the shift that is taking place within and calm myself with tapping and then I remember what I really want to do. I am giving myself the time to change deeply and forever.
Dieting and exercise used to be so strict and formal and severe for me and if I cheated or missed I felt such a failure. I was too weak, felt too hopeless to ever stick to such a rigid regime without breaking out, or away, or off from it. So I would just give up if I fell off the diet. And the rebel in me just hated the strict structure and deprivation of dieting and the punctilious finger pointing of so many of the exercise classes or videos I tried. Nothing ever lasted more than two or three months.
This time I am strangely having fun. I am creating a way of eating that works for me. I decide what to eat for my greater good. I am exercising in a way that I enjoy and getting great results. I am staying conscious.
I am feeling more and more confident that I can and am changing. I am aware of myself fit, healthy and slimmer, in my head, all the time, just off to the side. And sometimes the slimmer me spontaneously pops into my inner vision. Such joy and reassurance to allow myself to even go that far. To really see the me I am becoming. I never have before. I never believed it before. Not really.
Its hard sometimes, I kid you not, but having something like EFT to bring me back to my true desire is such a relief. I am so sick of living my life with the same old issues. Bored with the repetition, frustrated and holding back. I do not want to waste one more day of my life feeling bad about myself and waiting to lose weight.